Self Portraits

I’ve spent the better part of this week, today being Thursday, discovering a new avenue through which I can express myself creatively: Self-portraiture.

It started on Monday with a dose of unpleasant news: I did not make enough money in the last fiscal quarter to qualify for unemployment. Yeah, it makes little sense to me too. However, as I’m bouncing back from that, I’ve been taking solace in my new Lumix GH5 and surprisingly versatile Manfrotto tripod. My photos (three, as of this writing) have been bizarre and more ethereal than I’m accustomed to. I attribute much of this to my journey of creative self-recovery through Julia Cameron’s guidebook, The Artist’s Way.

Through this sort of call-and-response initiative where I call out to the universe for help and it responds my tapping into my creative self, I’ve found remarkable solace and surprising connection. I’ve abandoned social media as a serious way of keeping up with friends. Over the years, I’ve discovered that unfiltered access to my friends’ inner througts, no matter how close we are, typically ends in apathy. However, in returning to Instagram (in a limited capacity) has allowed me the space to discover that people care. People matter. It’s easy to forget that when we are locked inside for a year, away from our loved (and not-quite-loved) ones. My self-portraits, from an outside perspective, may cause alarm. I think that’s because I’ve been angry this week, but I’m learning that anger is not to be suppressed. Anger is meant to be listened to. Anger informs me that the universe, as it relates to me, is out of balance and my response, these self portraits, repairs its equilibrium.

I look forward to discovering how else my emotions manifest in my creativity.